Human beings are social creatures. They live in groups, with group members supporting each other in many different ways. The family unit is one such group in which there is generally a clear-cut division of roles between the husband and wife. Modes of interaction, which are developed, structured and consolidated over the course of years become an integral part of behavior and are therefore very difficult to suddenly terminate. Married couples who divorce go through a long and often painful period of readjustment. The sudden death of a spouse presents a particularly difficult psychological problem. After living in daily contact with a person, in a relationship based on mutual support, it is a shock to the system to suddenly find oneself alone and both members of the partnership have difficulties with the new situation. Beyond the trauma of loss, there is a feeling of unfinished business - a relationship that was left hanging and not formally concluded. Sudden death leaves no time for an orderly "farewell" or the establishment of supportive alternative relationships for rehabilitation. This is generally the motivating force that brings people to mediums to contact a deceased spouse.
Is it advisable?
Making contact can help heal psychological wounds for both members of the partnership and can close unfinished business. There are, however, cases in which such contact is not advisable. A person in mourning is particularly vulnerable. Exposure to the concept of reincarnation and the possibility of contact with their deceased partner could serve to increase emotional distress and confusion. It is recommended to wait until after the mourning period has passed and of course, each case should be considered on its own merits.
Rites of passage of the deceased
The deceased undergo a variety of experiences, such as medical and psychological treatments, courses and evaluations. All of this is designed to help the Spirit adjust to its new circumstances. Every deceased soul undergoes these procedures, but for each one it is different. Below is information gathered from my dealings with the subject.
Request to "descend"
Just as one needs to earn a license in order to drive, or to obtain a visa in order to visit another country, so too, the deceased must obtain permission to descend for a visit into the world of the living. There are cases in which such a visit is not advisable. Mediums frequently hear that permission must be obtained for a soul to meet with a relative seeking contact. There are also different levels of permission. Some Beings are given a "free pass" to visit whenever they want, and others are allowed to visit only for specified reasons.
Apparitions and how they look
The deceased can appear as they were at death, or as they appeared prior to their injury or illness, to ensure that their relatives will recognize them. I was told about a memorial service in a military cemetery where incomplete ethereal bodies of the deceased were seen i.e., bodies with a missing limb or eye. Once during meditation, I saw myself in a past life in which I died, a boy of 10. I fell into a deep pit. The avalanche of rocks accompanying my fall wounded and buried me, causing my death. I saw an image of how I worked very hard to separate my ethereal body from the physical one. It was like peeling off a white flexible layer that was attached to the whole volume of the physical body. I presume that injuries to the physical body also damage the ethereal body attached to it.
Sometimes, when the cause of death is particularly violent, the ethereal body is so damaged that it must undergo treatment and reconstruction in the netherworld.
Direct contact or via a medium
Usually, contact can be made with the supervision of a healer or medium who is experienced in such things. The client enters a state of meditation, which allows him unmediated contact with the deceased. Another technique involves contact through writing. This provides a direct connection through which unfinished business can be cleared quickly and effectively without any intervention from a third party.
How to call the deceased
The Guides that work with mediums are experienced in this. They have to be given identifying details of the deceased, and the reasons or aims of the requested meeting. The Beings usually try to be accommodating. Sometimes the client arrives at the meeting with the medium, accompanied by the Spirit of the deceased person they wish to call.